Saturday, April 25, 2009
Rules of Junior Fight Club, Don't Talk about Fight Club
This morning my mom called from a garage sale, a regular event with my kids and their grandparents. "We found a boxing set, gloves and chest guards, and wanted to know if you'd be okay if we bought them," says my mom, as my dad screams "NOOO" in the background. Told her I was fine with them, checked in with my husband who said it was great exercise. They didn't end up buying them, since there was only one pair of small gloves. "They'd have just fought over them, ha ha" joked I with Brian tonight.
As you may have guessed, we really don't have a problem with the kids fighting, or more accurately having a no holds barred boxing or wrestling match. It does get out a lot of energy, which my kids have in spades. Unfortunately, one, the same one, always gets hurt. Today Keegan jumped on Donovan, and next thing you know he's crying. Donovan was pushing him off and whacked him. I can't really blame Donovan for that. If you're going to jump on a toughie, better learn to take it. Keegan jumps right in again most of the time.
I know lots of well-meaning people don't allow this. My son's preschool teachers for one, who got upset that Donovan was "playing too aggressively" and once bopped a kid on the head. I told them I'd talk to him and things seem better. It turns out most of the time he is playing roughly with his best friend, who's smaller but even feistier, and it freaks out the teachers. I'm all for teaching my kids that different places have different rules, but this just seemed like overkill, so to speak. The other parents were constantly getting talked to about their son, and didn't accept the excuse that another kid might wander into the fray and get hurt. Both kids love going there, though, which is the important thing. The male teachers totally understand my tough little jock, love playing soccer with him, for which I am grateful.
The kids behave at playdates, really, adapting to the spirit of the kid. My son loves almost everybody and would never hurt them on purpose. It's just sometimes his form of affection is often the friendly jab to the arm or punch in the stomach. In fact he's got a sixth sense for those friendly uncle or dad-types who let the kids jump all over them at family gatherings, have kids hanging off each limb. I warn them, you give my son an inch better be ready for 50lbs of cuteness to launch himself at you.
Lately he's learning that there are limits. He asked if he was allowed to play "violent" with the legos, as two kids from Keegan's school came over the other day and they weren't. Honestly I don't care, although I do love the fact that my kids always insist on being the good guy, get quite upset if someone hands the a bad guy character to play. They've seen Transformers, Bourne Identity, Men in Black and Tom and Jerry. We only draw the line at violent video games, unless you count Wii boxing. I've knocked Donovan out enough that he refuses to play that with me, anyway.