My son and I have many a conversation right before he falls asleep (yes, we still lie down with them, don't judge). And all too often in the past few months I've heard "I don't want you to go to work, Mommy, I want you to stay home with me." Of course he also doesn't want to go to school, but that ain't gonna happen. So I thought he'd be so excited when I told him I'd soon be able to spend a lot more time with him. What I probably should have done was read the current blogher ads link in iVillage, "How to talk to your kids about layoffs." Thanks to our economy I will be out of work in a few days. I am most definitely one of the more fortunate ones, as I'm getting a severance package. I went though a series of emotions and after some celebration of what seems like a windfall I realize it is deserved. I've given this company nearly 15 years, thank you very much. To be perfectly honest, I didn't exactly sit down with my son and go through the details, since I don't exactly know what I'll be doing a few months from now. I mostly just spoke with my husband knowing the kids were likely listening, and told Keegan the good news about staying home for a bit, and I hope getting a free summer with the boys.
I thought my kids would be thrilled to spend more time with mommy. But Keegan is sad, I'm losing my computer and my "cool office" which is actually a run-of-the-mill cubicle, admittedly with a drawer full of giveaways collected over the years at conferences to amuse my kids when I had to bring them to work. But they love it, or they say they do. The best find was an old Polaroid camera with expired film. Of course he's likely thinking about more than not being able to play with my computer or fish through a drawer for squeeze foam toys and drinking free hot chocolate, but I don't want him to worry. I want him to understand that we may not have as much money for a bit, but he'll have more mommy-time at school and at home. I've got to remember that this is a kid who took three weeks to get used to kindergarten, then another three weeks when he started 1st grade, same school, familiar faces. Change is good, change is exciting, change is also tough on us humans, especially the small ones.
Cross posted on Silicon Valley Moms Blog
I understand what you're going through! When my son was younger, I worked as a travel magazine editor. I loved that job -- but also felt very conflicted about not being home more with my family. The conflict was solved when the magazine folded a few years later; I ended up working from home after all. I loved it, after a while, but it took some adjusting to find my new routine. Good luck to you!
ReplyDeleteSorry!
ReplyDeleteI'm sending good karma to you and -
you are such a good mom that - after 15 years with the same company-
you immediately think of your boys :)
xo
when I decided to leave my last job, I was surprised at how happy my son was that I would be home with him after school. It helped ease the guilt about not working (yes, my guilt has always been in the wrong direction, strong Protestant, post-Depression parental influence).
ReplyDeleteHope this turns out to be a good thing for you and your family!
BTW, great to meet you on Friday at the BlogHer event - fun to get out and interact with other adults!