Dear neighbor, my sincerist apolgies

for all the noise this morning. Judging from the footsteps I heard last night as I was finally rolling into bed around midnight, I'm assuming you may have had plans to loll around in a bed all morning sleep in to a decent hour. I know you are aware that you've moved into a child and dog-friendly apartment complex, even though you seem to have neither, but you may not have expected two of each to move in right next to you. Kids, especially at my kid's tender young age (although there is very little tender about him right now) tend to arise quite early, and if they have not had quite enough sleep they can be screaming banshees a tad cranky in the morning. I'm sure you've heard of the "terrible twos" but as you are not a parent you might not realize the threes can be much worse.

Judging from the fact that you live in a nice apartment in the heart of Silicon Valley, you likely have a job that allows you flexible hours and you might not have welcomed the loud crying that went on from about 7:15 to 8am this morning. I did try time-outs, which might account for the escalating screaming your heard, and pure bribery of spiderman socks, which of course set him off again when they were not in the original packaging. He's very much like a Target store - lots of great stuff inside, but demanding when it comes to returns. Realize these attempts to appease him and cater to his whims might (and I emphasize the might) result in short term gains, but really will only prolong the days weeks months the tantrums will continue until I finally resort to beatings he grows out of this stage.

By the way, in light of that philosophy, I do appreciate you not calling social services the other night when I left him alone crying in the house while I took the dogs out. Since the tone and message conveyed in his crying remained constant I knew he was still safe. He may not have cried himself to sleep as I'd hoped, but when my inept attempt to transfer him from car to bed with a quick change into a pull-up without waking him failed, the last thing he needed was a whiny mommy and two hyper dogs.

And one final apology, when he did finally cheer up I am sorry that he communicated this change in mood by singing B-I-N-G-O at the top of his lungs. I did try to lead him away from the buildings by running with the dogs, but that only resulted in him screaming out such important questions as "is this our car?" You seem like a nice enough person, saying hi but clearly not interested in oohing and awing over the fruit of my loins. My mom has suggested we change our greeting to "we have a short-term lease" which might allow you to relax a little.

Previously posted on Silicon Valley Moms