I'd Most Definately Get Kicked Out of Dallas

And it's not because I would think about taking one of my many guns and shooten' myself if Billary was elected. Nor is it because, heathen that I am, I don't take my kids to church. Nope, it's this foo foo kid's birthday party that I threw last Sunday. My son turned four recently (yes, we're a bit late) and having just got back from a visit to my sister in Dallas I was reminded of one her son's birthday party. It often worked out that we can visit ye old cousin during his birthday in April (where one year we're swimming, the next we're sledding). There were at least 40 people at this one and she served BBQ everything, of coure the requisite chips and salsa, artichoke dip and sourdough bread, with baked beans (it's a vegetable in Texas) and corn, along with box wine and Miller Lite, booya.

After the cake and ice cream and games, the fun really started about 10pm, when they broke out the high test tequilia, straight from Mexico, that their neighbor used to bring back from his family visits. Partying went on until the wee hours, and one guy commented "if I had known this is what kid's birthday parties were like, I would've started going to them a long time ago. What are you having next year? Hookers?" I'm not sure if it was this guy or another, but one of them, who was driving (many had walked) was so drunk they hid his keys. He must have found them, though, as next thing they know he and his car had disappeared. He didn't show up for work for three days, and has not touched a drop since (that was three years ago). Rumors had him either waking up in jail or with another guy, or both.

Shall we compare that to my party, where I proposed an afternoon tea, and my husband readily agreed, not because he was at all thrilled with the idea, but it meant I was taking charge. I'd like to say I'm too cheap to serve a real meal, but it's really just lazyness this time. I threw an amazing party at my house last year and practically ran out of food. If you don't have a party at mealtime, people will still eat, but just for the fun of it, they won't actually be hungry.

So here's our California spread:

Coffee, sparkling water, chai, wine (in bottles) and an 8 pack of "Mystery Beer" from Trader Joes, plus boxed organic chocolate milk and juice and tiny bottled water for the kids.

For food we had cheese and peanut butter mini-crackers, cheese sticks, blackberries and clementines, mini-scones and pumpkin muffins (are you gagging yet?) and filled the pinata up with fruit snacks, dinosaurs and pencils.

And alas, only one person drank any of the alcohol, but she had to throw the whole party together and really need that beer. And please admire my handiwork to the right, my best birthday cake yet. Sing along to the video below, too, where the Spanish Immersion kids had to sing in Spanish.